Jesus was running frantically around and around a small field covered with thorns and tangled bushes. I tried to get him to stop and calm down, but he told me he was too agitated and stressed out. I offered to give him a relaxing backrub, but just then the Virgin Mary and all his advisors walked up and told me to stay away from him. They thought I was hitting on him, which would be bad for publicity.

RedFeather, by

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